Marriage is a major commitment that a couple makes to each other to spend the rest of lives together; however, this does not always end up being the case. While the divorce rate has been declining in recent decades, divorce is still extremely common with roughly 40% of marriages ending in divorce.
For people who have not been through a divorce themselves, it can be difficult to watch a friend or family member go through this difficult process. One of the most common questions you may ask yourself is what led them to decide to get a divorce. While it is usually a collection of problems within a marriage that causes a couple to get divorced, there are a few common causes that couples cite as being the final straw that lead them to seek a divorce.
Here is an overview of just a few of the most common reasons why couples choose to get divorced.
Loss of Individual Identity
A common reason for divorce is if one or both parties feel as if they have lost their individual identity in the relationship. All too often, couples get married and they start to lose their sense of self as they give up their individual hobbies and friends to do things as a couple instead. While it is important for couples to do things together, it is not healthy to become codependent, as this can lead to feelings of suffocation, or as if one does not know who they are anymore outside of the relationship. Maintaining one’s individuality even in marriage is critical to a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Finances
Financial problems are one of the most common reasons for divorce, but ironically, it is often not a lack of money that causes problems. Instead, problems can arise when a couple can’t agree on what to do with, or how to spend, their money. If one party is a spender while the other is a saver, this can lead to constant arguments over finances. Money can also become a source of stress in a marriage if one spouse makes significantly more money than the other, as this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and superiority that can cause strife in a relationship. In fact, in one study, 36% of participantscited money as being a reason for their divorce.
Constant Arguing
Communication problems are another commonly cited reason for divorce, with couples stating that they chose to get a divorce because they were constantly fighting. Some couples find that they have a difficult time communicating with, and understanding, one another. This can cause simple conversations to turn into arguments and fights that only continue to escalate and never get resolved, as neither party is able to see the other person’s point-of-view. When couples find that all they are doing is fighting, this generally leads to divorce.
Intimacy Disappears
Over time, it is not uncommon for couples to begin to grow apart, and for the love and intimacy to disappear. Usually, this is not the fault of either party, however, over time one or both spouses can come to the realization that they no longer have the same feelings for their partner that they once did. While friendship is important in a relationship, this is often not enough to sustain a marriage, and if the love and intimacy disappear, this will likely lead to divorce. In fact, in a study conducted by The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, a lack of love and intimacy was reported as being the number one reason why couples ultimately chose to get a divorce.
Facing Divorce In Boca Raton, Florida? Call Ronald Zakarin
While it can be difficult to watch a loved one go through a divorce, understanding why divorces happen can help you to better empathize with their current situation. Contact us to learn more about the common reasons why people get divorced as well as to find out why it is important to seek representation if you are seeking a divorce.