When you first hear that your adult child is getting a divorce, you might think about your grandchildren. You love them and want them to be in your life, no matter what happens to them. In fact, you can be a great source of comfort for them.
Here are some ways to help your grandchildren through their parents’ divorce.
Work with both parents so that you can keep your grandchildren in your life.
Not only should you work with your adult child so that you can continue to see your grandchildren, but you are also going to have to work with the ex. Hopefully, both parents know how much your grandchildren love and need you so you can continue to spend time with them.
Do the things that you used to do with your grandchildren.
You can’t just stop spending time with your grandchildren. If you used to keep them once a week while their parents worked, continue to do so. If you took them to the movies several times a month, please keep doing it. Your grandchildren are going to need you in their lives more than ever.
Don’t talk about the divorce in front of your grandchildren.
It is very important that you don’t talk specifics about the divorce where the children can hear. Don’t choose sides or badmouth either parent in front of the children.
Unless they need someone to talk to.
If your grandchildren want to talk about the divorce and all of the changes happening in their lives, be the person that they can talk to. Listen carefully and ask questions. Let them know that you are always there to listen.
Give your grandchildren a peaceful and calm environment.
Your grandchildren are going to be living in some stressful environments while they find their new normal so you should do what you can to give them a calming environment. Don’t criticize either of their parents. Spend time with them doing things that they like to do. Stay positive during this difficult time for them.
Think of the grandchildren on holidays.
Holidays are an important time for children, and that shouldn’t change just because their parents couldn’t stay together.
You still need to make the holidays special. It is even better if you can include both parents (and the other grandparents) in the celebration if you are able to. If not, make sure that the time that you spend together is special.
Stay diplomatic with your grandchildren’s other parent and grandparents.
Most families become close, especially when grandchildren are involved. You are all going to have to learn a new way to interact.
Maybe you can continue to work together to spend time with the children. There are also times when it is important to cut ties with them. If you do, you are still going to have to be the bigger person when you see them when you are out running errands. Remain pleasant when you do.
It is important that you give your grandchildren a place where they feel safe and calm. They are going to need to lean on you in the following months. Do what you can to be the one person that they can count on, even if they just need a shoulder to cry on. Make sure that you continue to find ways to spend time with them, even if it is awkward.
It is also important to work with both sets of parents so that you can continue to be in your grandchildren’s lives. Then, do the things that you always do together so that they can have a sense of normalcy in their life.
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